I’m sure we all have these weeks. the ones where maybe one more thing might cause you to cry right there on the spot. the ones where the enemy is speaking into any weakness you may be feeling. the ones where you struggle to see the good.
well— last week was one of those weeks for me. I had three extra things on my plate that were my responsibility to plan and create for my team & the squad. the enemy was speaking into every single area that I didn’t feel equipped enough to handle what was right in front of me. I was struggling to see anything good in front of me because I hadn’t processed what was going on within the squad & I wasn’t taking my emotions to the feet of our King.
during the middle of the week, one of my sweet friends Maddie & I were talking and I was just spilling out every single ounce of my emotions; I was telling her about how everything was making me feel so overwhelmed & how I didn’t know how to rest in that. she spoke a lot of wisdom to me and told me to sit before the Lord with absolutely nothing.
after I thought I had made it through the whole week (surviving not thriving), there was a conversation I had that took me to my breaking point. I finally decided to take Maddie’s advice and go sit with the Lord. so I walked myself to a makeshift table in the woods and just sat there. I wasn’t praying really and I wasn’t saying much, but I knew the Lord was there with me.
pictured: the makeshift table in the woods
“Lord, what do you want me to do right now?”
a song started playing in my head so I just started to sing with Him. out loud in the woods I was singing and praying with the Lord. I typically don’t pray out loud, mostly because there are always people around me, but here I was. the Lord met me there in that moment.
“Abba I don’t know how to continue where I’m at. I don’t know how to lead my team in leading squad church tomorrow when all I can think about is my sadness and frustration.”
again, the Lord me there.
“mourning to dancing” is what He spoke to me.
and that was a truth that I found myself beginning to rest in. I gave Him my frustration and He turned it into sadness. sadness that people haven’t stepped into the freedom the Lord has given us.
so with a heavy heart, I began to make a ball of my emotions— something my squad mentor told me once is to take everything weighing on my heart and make it into a ball and throw it. so I chucked my imaginary ball at a tree. I asked the Lord to soften my heart and guide me as I interacted with those around me. I asked Him to take control of my tongue as I speak about His sons and daughters.
the next day was squad church & I was convinced that I wasn’t going to be able to rest all day because of it.
the Lord gave me a really sweet picture a few weeks beforehand about what He wanted squad church to be like, so deep down I was very excited. on the outside, I was crippled with stress and nerves.
we sang the first song and my nerves slowly began to go down. I watched as the women on my team spoke truth over our squad and invited them into coming boldly before the Lord. I wept happy tears as I saw the Lord’s vision of squad church come to life & the tender beauty of obedience.
“mourning to dancing”
the Lord sweetly reminded me of what He was speaking over me and the truth & faithfulness in what He says. so many happy tears streamed down my face as the Lord so gently invited me into mourning and dancing with Him.
The King of Kings wants His kids to sit at His feet. He wants to hear your voice & minister to your hurting/ frustrated heart.
We have been deeply gifted with the Holy Spirit— our ultimate comforter and guide.
“But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:26-27
“And I will send you the Divine Encourager from the very presence of my Father. He will come to you, the Spirit of Truth, emanating from the Father, and he will speak to you about me. And you will tell everyone the truth about me, for you have walked with me from the start.” John 15:26-27
this is some hope that I’ve been holding onto the past week & I hope it was encouraging to you!
here are some sweet pictures from my team leading squad church!
my team + Justin, one of the other team leaders and a dear friend(:
sweet Abby who spoke at church about boldness & what the Lord is teaching her in that!!
our theme for church ~ what does it look like for you to come boldly before the Lord?
Justin, Bri, and I leading the squad in worship! I would love to share more about this if you’re interested!! the Lord spoke a lot of truth to me and helped me lead the squad in what it’s like to worship without comparison.
I deeply appreciate any continued prayers and am so thankful to have such an amazing community of supporters surrounding me. I can’t say thank you enough!!(-:
prayer requests & praises!
- prayers over my gut that’s been messed up since coming home from the race (but she’s doing better!)
- we are leaving in just over a week to go do hurricane relief in Foley, AL with samaritans purse!!
- praises for sweet and encouraging team times full of laughter
- opportunities for local ministry! (-: more on this to come!
- continued prayers that the aim campus would be free of any sickness and full of health— emotionally and physically
thanks for reading & checking in with me!
love ya lots
Kate
If are interested in my snail mail address, follow these instructions, please!
Jodi Owens
2613 Windward Ln
Gainesville, GA 30501
Please put Kate Rolffs on the back of the envelope! The address is my mentor’s here in Gainesville and the mail won’t get to her without her name, and only her name, on the front because of her apartment office. THANK YOU!
sweet kate. I love when you write. i’ve got another double word combo for you!!! morning to dancing and praise for heaviness!!!!! praying and speaking and celebrating that over you as is your life for the Lord!!!! xoxo chick-fil-a
Kate… Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you for being so honest and open. I so appreciate it. I know that all will be well. Something I posted this week on Facebook was from a five-year-old when asked if she were president what would she do…and she said she would dance! And here you are dancing with Jesus! My prayers continue for you always. Tomi
Kate,
Thank you for sharing. I have times like these as well. It is such a good reminder to just sit with God. Thank you for sharing the hard things… it helps us all know we aren’t alone in whatever we are going through.
You are such a blessing! It has been a joy watching you grow through the years. God has done some amazing work on and through you. You continue to be on my prayer list.
Ed
thanks for the continued prayers & for always leaving such sweet comments
thanks rebecca!! I always love reading your comments & connecting with you(: love you!
your sweet comments ALWAYS make my day! love you lots ed!(:
My girl, your depth and willingness to listen and grow is such an inspiration to me! What a blessing you are. And seeing the picture of you co-leading worship warms my heart and makes me miss you even more! I’m so very proud of you! Love you the mostest! Mom
So encouraging—thanks for sharing!! Prayers continuing…
Oh sweet Kate…. love this! Thank you so much for sharing your heart here!! And love the reminder to ‘sit before the Lord with absolutely nothing’…. such a good word! God is so so good!!
Will join you in your prayer requests and praises… thanks, God!
xoxo
KATE ROLFFS IM HAPPY TO KNOW YOU!!! thanks for sharing your heart on this. He’s a good God of faithful promises.
Came back to read this again. Thank you for the vulnerability in this