About a month ago I was at a graduation party for one of my church friends. I saw one of my friends that I don’t get to see very often and we started talking about world race, because that’s the typical topic of conversation for me right now. We were talking about what I was excited about, what I was nervous about, and then he asked me this, “what do you hope to get out of it?” I was honestly surprised. It wasn’t a question I had really thought about outside of the generic answer: to get closer to Jesus. I realized that I was taking a while to answer, so I just said, “I don’t know. I want to do what Jesus has called me to do.” He said, “That’s not what I asked.” At this point a good chunk of the room was waiting on my answer, as most people are curious about anything world race related. I didn’t want to answer the question. I didn’t want to have a generic answer. I didn’t want everyone looking at me, staring me down and waiting for my answer.
I didn’t want the typical mission trip answer. World Race is a really unique mission trip, so I guess I felt like I needed to have a deep reason as to what I hoped to get out of it.
I started to get really flustered so I just said, “I hope to get closer to Jesus.” Not this answer wasn’t true, but it’s not what my heart aches for deep down.
I yearn to know Jesus like I do my earthly father. I want to experience His love on a level so strong that it brings me to tears. I hope to learn so much about Him and His love for us that it doesn’t even faze me to evangelize. I want to bring people to Jesus and worship with His earthly kingdom of believers around the world.
That’s what I hope to get out of World Race.
But in the moment he asked me what I hoped to get out of it, I couldn’t think of all the words to say all of that. Why couldn’t I find the right words to express all of that?!!
I went to bed that night feeling so stupid. I was upset about being generic. I was frustrated that I couldn’t explain how much I want to get out of world race. I’m eighteen and about to travel the world, and I couldn’t think of anything better to say. It felt like I was just saying the typical “sunday school answer,” if you know what I mean. I’m not sure why, because my answer in short was very true now that I’m thinking about it, but my response to his question bothered me SO much.
I just happened to be having coffee the next morning with two of my close friends, who are also taking gap years through different organizations. I started telling them about how frustrated I was about having been asked this question so publicly and not being able to answer anything but something generic. They both started to reassure me that even generic answers are still unique to each person. wow. shook.
My takeaways from our conversation that morning ~
Of course we all want to grow closer to the Lord. But it looks different for all of us. Of course we all want to build relationships that last until we are old and wrinkly. But those relationships are going to look different for everyone.
There’s beauty in the generic because it’s still unique to each person.
Even if you’re just following the crowd for a little bit, you’re still doing it in your own way. God created us all to be different, and perfect in His eyes.
So, sometimes it’s okay to be generic. It’s okay to not have groundbreaking truth in every sentence you speak. It’s okay if you can’t think of the words that would accurately depict your thoughts in the moment.
There’s a simplicity in being generic. There is room to grow and be with the Lord when you live in simplicity.
One of my favorite songs by Rend Collective, one that I highly recommend, is called “Simplicity.” The song is all about living in simplicity. It is a great reminder to me that we don’t have to have all of these complicated and groundbreaking answers. A line in the song says, “give me a child like heart,” and it reminds me that having a child like heart is living in simplicity and taking joy in the little things. I love this song because of its sweet reminders of how much Jesus loves us and how beautiful it is to worship Him.
I’ve been learning to rest in the simplicity of our Father. This is just the beginning of a new way of living!!!
I love you all, dear friends!!
Kate(:
Actually, I believe not having a quick knowing answer to that question other that to get to know Jesus is awesome. And honestly, if a person comes into the race with great expectations about what will happen, how it will go, what they are going to get out of it . . . the greater the disappointment and hardship if (when) those expectations aren’t met.
You seem to be catching on to a few things I have seen previous racers learn. The beauty of simplicity, and its about Jesus . . Not about me.
I would say you’re in a great place.
Excited to meet you IN ABOUT A WEEK!
Kate,
You should not feel bad about your answer to your friend. If anything, I think he was wrong to negate your answer about doing what Jesus wants you to do with his “that’s not what I asked” challenge. I don’t know what he thought your answer should be, but I think you gave the best possible answer. You are going into this journey with your heart and mind wide open to Jesus and wanting to get out of it what He wants you to. You are not going into it with a checklist of what you want to achieve. You are going into it with a spirit of humility and surrender to your Lord and Savior. I honor you for that.