total celebration!!

A lot has been going through my mind lately with leaving Thailand this week, setting up plans for after the race, and still being present with my team and at ministry. All that to say, I have no idea where to start. So much has happened and I don’t even know how to put it into words for all of you! So get ready: this might be a word vomit type of blog. & I have more coming.

I hadn’t opened my Bible for about a month straight.

I couldn’t tell you the last time I prayed and meant it. or the last time I was worshiping and felt the Holy Spirit. or the last time I felt loved or seen by the Lord.

I don’t know the last time I had my own quiet time.

I walked out of a house church service because I was so frustrated.

I was in something the World Race likes to call the “B Zone.”

It took a second for me to actually admit to myself that that’s what was happening. I was on the rocks with God, as I like to say.

This past weekend my teammate Lauren’s uncle was in town. He took our team out for dinner and treated us to ice cream. He treated us with all the love and kindness of the Lord, and it was such a blessing. He offered to take us on an adventure up in the mountains. The mountains are so beautiful everywhere you go, so of course I wanted to spend the day there. Exploring is one of my favorite ways to spend any day. 

I probably would have told you at any point that week that the Lord wasn’t speaking to me. The truth was that He totally was, and I just wasn’t listening. The thing with God is that you have to actually try to listen, and it’s usually pretty easy to tune Him out. But! I heard a little whisper saying, “Don’t go. Spend the day with me.” 

Well, what the heck God. I finally get an adventure day, and you tell me not to go? You know what fine. Whatever. I’ll stay.

I slept in and went to a coffee shop with a few friends the next morning so I could have a date with Jesus. We spread out down the table and all dove into our quiet times. Except I didn’t even know where to start. I had left my phone at the hostel because I knew I would probably just distract myself with it, so I didn’t even have music to listen to. I pulled out my Bible and journal. and stared at it for a few minutes. I watched out the window for a while. Finally, I felt like I was supposed to read Isaiah. So I started at the beginning and just read for a while. 

In the first chapter, it talks about being washed as white as snow. I’m not sure if most of you know, but I had a pretty cool interaction with white butterflies & them being a reminder that I’m washed as white as snow this past summer. (I also wrote a blog called white butterflies if you haven’t read it yet:) I’ve continued to see them everywhere on the Race – even in 40 degree Myanmar. 

They are, of course, everywhere at the Wildflower home. They fly around the dirt pile we shovel every day. There was one stuck inside the other day right above where I was napping. They’re always around the rice fields and in the banana fields while we’re hoeing away. 

I know it’s no coincidence, and I’m not sure why it took me so long to dive more into it. 

My little butterfly moments are just beautiful moments with me & God. Like getting a bouquet of flowers or free coffee!

I think people back home tend to think that my relationship and knowledge of the Lord is perfect just because I’m overseas on a mission trip. and that could not be further from the truth.

I am a baby believer.

I’m still learning what my relationship looks like with Him. I’m still learning what our time looks like together. I’m still learning how to be consistent in conversation with Jesus.

I’m still figuring out absolutely everything I possibly could be. 

Last month I didn’t check off everything on the Christian checklist. 

I was still spending time with Jesus and trying to give my heart to Him more and more.

I was still talking to Him. I was just in a little rut that I didn’t know how to get out of. Sometimes it just takes a day of intentionality. Taking time to just sit with the Lord even if you don’t see the fruit right away. Maybe He just wants you to have a dance party with Him.

He’s not always the serious God everyone makes Him out to be. Sometimes He just wants you to see the beautiful butterflies He sends just to make your day. or to do some jumping jacks in the middle of worship just to make you laugh. 

I’ve been learning that He just wants to celebrate with us.

The other day during worship we were just given some questions to help us process a little bit of the last month-ish. One of the questions said, “Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal a time when the Lord was present with you, and you didn’t recognize Him.”

The Lord so sweetly brought up this time a few weeks ago when we were celebrating one of the mothers. She was sold by her mother to a housekeeper when she was a baby, and she doesn’t know when her birthday is. We threw a little surprise birthday party with the help of the sisters for her, and it was such a heartwarming party to be at. Jesus just reminded me that He was there with us. Celebrating with us. 

He’s a God that wants to live in celebration! What isn’t there to celebrate when we have a God who’s already won the battle? He deserves ALL the glory and praise!! Invite Him into your celebrations!

celebrate the whispers. celebrate the breeze (or snow days haha) as a little gift of rest. celebrate the seven loads of dirt that are now gone! celebrate when everything sucks, because we already know who came out on the other side. 

& be excited for the biggest party ever in heaven(:

thanks for listening! love you lots. for real.

kate